The Winds of Change

As is usual with Earth School, when I decide to put my focus on a subject, suddenly lessons abound. “No Time for Detours” my soon to be offered mini retreat series has been no exception. I also tend to teach or lead the subjects I need to know at a deeper level, so I usually find myself enrolled in an immersion class without ever actually signing up.

Smudge and I headed out for a walk the other day. (He’s feeling back to his old self.) And as she’s wont to do in spring, when my beloved bipolar state, New Mexico throws her lithium out the window, (how else to explain the 4” of snow yesterday morning and practically shirt sleeve weather by noon?) the wind was blowing.

Prevailing winds here are from the west; exactly the direction Smudge and I were headed. Santa Fe is located at 7,000 feet and yes there are mountains, the tail end of the Rockies to be exact, but they are fairly far away on the western side. Santa Fe is also high desert, which means there isn’t much in the way of tall vegetation. So when Mariah blows, she blows hard with little to slow her down.

Walking into the wind I felt like a salmon, the only saving grace was the thought of how nice it would be to have the wind at our back on the way home. This got me thinking about sailing, and wind and detours, and life.

We face three kinds of wind on our journey, headwinds, tail winds and crosswinds.

Headwinds, what I was experiencing in the literal sense that day, build muscle and stamina when we face them head on, like one of those swimming pools where you swim against a stream of water, there are difficulties we face that make use stronger even though it feels like we aren’t getting anywhere. Earth School headwinds test our resolve, our discipline, our imagination. A door shuts. We can hammer on it, which at least will build upper body strength, we can search for a key or look for a way to pick the lock, possibly learning a new skill in the process or we can use our sense of wonder to see if there’s a window of opportunity to climb through. People can also serve as head winds, who hasn’t been stopped in their tracks by any of a variety of human foibles, ineptitude, anger, grief, even love can slow us down, make us stronger and frustrate the hell out of us. Flying often requires a head wind to give us lift don’t forget!

Tailwinds do just the opposite. These are the forces that speed us along the way, magnifying our efforts, giving support to our wings. People, opportunity, skill, all tail winds, the trick is to make sure the wind is blowing in the direction we want to go! Remembering how easily we can miss the little things as we allow the current to rush us along is a thing to keep in mind when we decide to spread our wings and take advantage of the flow.

Crosswinds are the ones to watch out for. Often they seduce us, a tender caress on the cheek that subtly pushes us off course or the more obvious sudden swirl of a hurricane that knocks us from our path. There’s a reason you see those signs posted, “dangerous crosswinds ahead”. With practice we can learn to harness such power by tacking and jibbing; zigzagging our way to where we want to go.

Lastly, there are the no wind days, these are useful, they give us time to re-supply, take care of repairs, and fill in the logbook. The danger of no wind days is how easily we become complacent. While calm is restful, becalmed is stagnant.

Now all these musings presume that you have taken the time to be clear on where you want to go in life and made some attempt to plot a course. If you have the luxury to wander, taking the scenic route, stopping at all the hysterical (or historical) markers, then pretty much any road will suffice and crosswinds will become another adventure, but for those of us with no time for detours, it’s important to test the wind each day as we set out to continue our journey.

onward and upward,

© C A Crossman and Dancing Through Life with Spirit,2012.

 

Related articles

• Wind (ourbicyclelives.wordpress.com)
• With the wind at my back….. (chamberlain1966.wordpress.com)
• Amira: John Barrow takes a mathematical look at why runners don’t like windy days (sport.maths.org)

Ain’t Nothin’ but The Real Thing Baby

I’m designing a retreat series titled “No Time for Detours”, practical, sustainable ways to stop allowing life’s scenic overlooks, business loops and rest stops from becoming detours on the way to a life that satisfies and nurtures.

Two books that have been extremely helpful are Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star and Barbara Sher’s I Could Do Anything I Want, if I Only Knew What it Was.

As with most lessons in Earth School, these came at just the right time. I started Barbara’s book first, but didn’t make it past the 2^nd chapter. I picked up Martha’s book and was engrossed, worked the exercises, formed a beautiful picture of the life I wanted and discovered valuable insights and actions; then I thought a lot about what I might do first.

Last week I picked up Barbara’s book again. Suddenly I was hearing exactly what I needed to hear. What leapt out at me, (ok so it’s leap year and I couldn’t resist) was the idea of escape dreams verses real dreams.

Escape dreams are the extravagant, otherworldly visions that we turn to when life feels like a trap; they’re entertaining and diverting. Real dreams contain adventures that light up our hearts; they feel possible and right.

In this world of bigger, better, faster, we’re told to dream big, that we can have it all; unfortunately too often that leads to mistaking escape dreams for real dreams. We rarely take the first step toward escape dreams, because deep down we know they won’t work. We know that giving up everything and moving to a desert island won’t sustain us, we’d miss the kids, or the dog or the inspiration of the people around us, we’d get sun burnt, we don’t like sand, what ever the realities of that big dream are, they won’t give us joy in the long run.

Our escape dreams do contain valuable information though, what do we believe such a life would provide that we don’t have now?

Ok, so my big dream involved an effortless life of creating – writing, painting, speaking, retreat leading. These pursuits would unfold effortlessly, audiences clamoring for my time and wisdom, publishers lining up, no marketing, no networking, no horror of horrors, cocktail parties where I would have to make chitty chat. No I would awake with brilliant thoughts, my beloved wishing me well as he went off to do his own thing, my creative partner appearing eager to share, my assistant taking care of all the icky problems and challenges that would distract me from my brilliance. Sounds lovely huh?

The truth is; I don’t do well without structure and I love challenges and problem solving. Right now I’m unemployed; I have all the time in the world to create. So how have I spent this time? Reading murder mysteries. Total brain candy, letting someone else solve all the problems while I wallow in effortless inactivity. Without somewhere I have to go, I indulge my introvert side, eventually creating loneliness and the feeling that I don’t have the energy to “get out there”. I need people and connection to discover fodder for my writing, some of those cocktail conversations were fascinating and inspiring even while the thought of going terrified me. Effortless is a nice fantasy, but it doesn’t motivate me.

I was holding onto a picture of either or, either I work a job or I have this perfect life of effortless creating. Looking deeper, the times I have been the happiest were those when I worked at a job that provided me enough income to pay the bills, got me out to engage with people and used my problem solving and leadership skills so that I saw tangible results; then I made time to write, draw, take classes and yes, even network. One fed the other and not having to rely on my creativity to pay the bills allowed me to actually enjoy when I made some money from my creative side.  The job satisfied my need for order and structure and my need to be needed and acknowledged, having to make time for my passions spoke to me in my favorite love language, quality time.

Is this your idea of a really good time? Perhaps not, but it’s mine and that’s what I finally gave myself permission to own.

So last week, I started a blog. This week I took my friend up on his offer to show my art and started painting. I’ve also reframed my thoughts around the type of job I want instead of what I thought I needed. Interesting that the steps are now unfurling effortlessly and I’m enjoying the effort of completing them. Practicing a life of “and” not “or”.

What are your dreams? Why aren’t you following them? If you find yourself putting off the first steps to making them come true, then maybe you’re mistaking an escape dream for the real thing.

onward and upward,

 

© C A Crossman and Dancing Through Life with Spirit,2012.